We can all probably agree that traditional schools are dropping the ball for many children. But are alternative schools and homeschooling too relaxed? How comfortable should our kids be?
As a mother who never says no to a hug and prefers to be with my kids than anyone else in the world, it was hard for me to see how I was creating my own roadblocks in our homeschool. I hadn't even realized something was awry until my husband was home one day, and I asked him to switch places with me and hold our daughter's hand as she did her math so I could run to the bathroom.
"Why does anyone need to hold her hand if she's doing independent work?" he asked.
That's when it hit me.
This inability to say no to any comforts or acts of love my kids requested created balance issues for all of us. In my first year of homeschooling, I had to learn how to balance rigor and relaxation. This is what I implemented to help keep the balance:
Challenging Work Our kids need to know that they can do hard things. Ensuring their work provided just the right amount of challenge kept my kids interested and gave them something to be proud of.
Self-Assessments I implemented weekly meetings with my girls, during which we analyzed every subject and extracurricular. They self-assessed and set goals for the coming week. The aim was always to be better than the week before, even if that meant they failed at something an extra time because it meant they gave it an extra go. The goals were personal, academic, and social. It was a lot like going to the gym; one extra rep each week was all we needed to know our efforts were paying off.
Managing Break Time My kids love to take breaks, and I never have a problem allowing them, but without boundaries, these breaks quickly lead to a backed-up workload. During our weekly goal-setting meetings, the girls would get a breakdown of the work that had to be completed that week and a rough estimate of how long everything would take. If, during the week, they wanted to take a break on a whim, I would ask them to plan when they were going to complete their work before deciding to put it aside. If they had a plan that worked, they took their break, but I found that many times they'd decide on their own that they could push through and rest when they were done.
Creative Presentations As often as I could, I swapped unit assessments for creative presentations. The girls were still required to answer all the questions posed by the assessment, but they could choose an innovative way to present this information. They created video skits, art shows, and books to demonstrate their understanding of units they'd finished, and we'd invite their grandparents over for a presentation. This encouraged my children to become experts on the topic, tap into their creativity, and practice articulating their thoughts to an audience. This was my standard practice as a classroom teacher as well. I have found that allowing children to choose how they want to present their information and giving them time to do so solidifies what they've learned in a way no exam can.
Co-Working My kids love to be with me, and I love to be with them, but I had to learn how to implement some boundaries that would allow them to develop independence and allow me to use the bathroom guilt-free. I started to sit at the table with my kids and complete my work alongside them. If they were doing independent work, I would lesson plan, read a book, or get some writing done. We'd be at the same table, but no one was in my lap or holding my hands. We were a family of capable, independent scholars. It still gave my girls and I the cozy feeing we got from being together while affording us the space to get more done independently. It made my little one, in particular, feel very grown up.
Reminders from the Good Book As Christians, we do not live our lives for ourselves but in obedience to the glory of God. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men." Our life's purpose is not to live idly in the lap of luxury but to use what God has given us (our strength, minds, and resources) for self-development to be useful to Him.
We are blessed to live in a nation where, if we are unhappy with traditional schooling, we can do it ourselves. If we want more time with our children, we can claim it. If our children need a different approach to education, we can give that to them. We can be sure that our efforts will be fruitful, with discipline and intentionality at the forefront.
Join us for an info session with microschool founder Amanda Lucas this Thursday at 6:30 p.m., where we will lay the vision for a revolutionary middle school.
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