Remember in Finding Nemo, when Nemo left his happy, fun-loving class, and enthusiastic teacher to touch the boat at the drop-off? The drop-off is middle school. It's where the joyful teacher turns back to keep the little kids happy and safe; where the parents are yelling at their Nemos, "You think you can do these things, but you just can't!" It's where, for our little Nemos, the boat gets too enticing not to touch, even if just to show us that they can. It becomes a place where our kids no longer seem to care about the fun exploring we have planned for them; where they are seemingly swimming further and further away from us in defiance, and no amount of yelling or panic will bring them back. It's safe to say, Nemo's Dad, Marlin, could have handled that situation better. And what about Mr. Ray? Sure he had other, younger kids to take care of, but what if he hadn't left Nemo and Marlin to handle the drop-off on their own? What do middle schoolers need to avoid being swept away when they make it to the drop-off? How can we make the transition easier?
Freedom & Autonomy
Middle schoolers crave freedom and autonomy, and they deserve it. Most times, when our kids get to middle school, the rigor is turned up and the opportunities for creativity and exploration are forgotten. Real freedom in middle school comes from conversations and free time. We have to create space for them to ask questions, guide them as they explore their interests, and follow their lead. They deserve unscheduled hours each day to engage in self-initiated, self-led exploration. Nemo didn't care about Mr. Ray's expedition because he was more interested in having an expedition of his own. We have to respect our tweens enough to allow them to reclaim their time, move about freely, create, and wonder.
2. Creativity
Middle school doesn't have to be where art goes to die. Many students are either too bogged down with academic work to enjoy art anymore, or they start comparing their work to others and don't feel good enough to continue creating. According to this article in NPR, among the benefits of creating art are reduced stress levels, increased focus, and better neural connections in the brain. This is where project-based learning comes in. If students are allowed to demonstrate their understanding through art and projects rather than standardized tests, they will reap the benefits of relaxation while solidifying their academic gains in a memorable way. This means that, across all subjects, middle schoolers are creating graphic novels, paintings, sculptures, videos, poetry, and comedy sketches to become experts, share what they learn with their peers, and flex their creative muscles.
3. Read Alouds
Middle Schoolers deserve to be read to every day. Sure they can read on their own, and that independence frees us up to do something else with the half hour we used to spend reading to them. Our tweens may even resist being read to, but nothing says I love you more than cozy storytime. Allowing your middle schooler to take a load off, and receive your undivided attention away from screens, tests, and the noise of the world is the most sacred of bonding rituals. Our middle schoolers have yet to outgrow this. Well-chosen books create opportunities to discuss questions our tweens may have. Reading aloud to middle schoolers is something we do daily at Lucas Literacy Lab, with no exceptions because our students deserve it. Here is a YouTube video that can help you with book recommendations and best practices for middle-grade read-alouds.
4. A Cool-Down Corner
Most elementary school classrooms have a cool-down corner; a place in the classroom stocked with sensory toys, writing/coloring materials, and stuffed animals where students can go to cool down when they are feeling frustrated, sad, or overwhelmed. When was the last time you saw a cool-down corner in a middle school? Most of our schools have too many students per classroom to accommodate a cool-down corner, but our middle schoolers still deserve to have access to one. Our tweens' ability to hide their big emotions doesn't mean they aren't having them. Of course, a middle school cool-down corner has to look more mature than its elementary counterpart, and it has to be integrated into the classroom in a natural way that does not highlight the student who chooses to spend time there, but middle schoolers deserve to have a place to go when they need a break.
5. Recess
This goes without saying. Our kids need to be out in nature, soaking up vitamin D, breathing fresh air, and moving their bodies. Unstructured outdoor time leads to better sleep, increased creativity, increased gratitude, better mood, more confidence, and the list goes on. Twenty-minute recess is a crime against tweens. They deserve an abundance of outdoor time.
6. Healthy Friendships
Social connections can get tricky in middle school. Our kids care how they are perceived at this stage, and they aren't quite sure who they are yet. They try on new personas often, and they require flexible friendships that allow them to change and make mistakes. These connections have to be fostered. Tweens not only need time to be with their friends, but they also need a trusted adult to model how to be inclusive, how to handle a friend's moods, and what to do when they feel misunderstood. Daily open dialogue encourages deep social connections and ensures that our kids feel seen and understood.
7. Individualized Learning
By the time they enter middle school, our tweens can fend for themselves. They've long moved on from scaffolded phonics lessons and memorized math facts. This doesn't mean that we should funnel them into a stream of standardized, one-size-fits-all learning. Our kids may not vocalize it to us anymore, but the need for individualized attention is of paramount importance at this age. They need to be pursued to be understood. Once we understand their preferences and learning styles, our tweens deserve a curriculum tailored to their learning style instead of forced grade-level textbooks. We must avoid rote busywork and leverage their interests and strengths to enrich their academic experience.
8. To Know That They Are Loved
A colleague once shared with me that a student in her class wanted to change their name. This colleague said that she told the student she'd not only call the student by their preferred name, but she'd also keep it a secret from the child's parents. She told the child that parents sometimes get so caught up in their expectations for their children that they forget their job is to love them unconditionally. Names are very personal, and children, like my own daughter, Amelia who gets very angry with anyone who doesn't use her nickname, Emmi, should have agency over their names. I agree with the teacher's choice to honor the child's wish and use their preferred name, but I do not agree with the teacher insinuating that the child's parents did not love them. All children need to know that their primary caretakers love them unconditionally. No one should ever wedge any doubt in a child's mind about the reality of their caregiver's love for them. The security children feel when they know they are loved by their parents is what makes childhood possible. Unconditional love preserves a child's innocence, fortifies their self-worth, and allows them to take risks and blossom into secure adults.
The care and consideration given to children in elementary school should extend throughout their middle school years. Middle schoolers deserve all of the love, attention, and respect they so desperately need and often find it too difficult to ask for. Let's not lose our Nemos at the drop-off. Let's follow them on their self-initiated journeys into the open ocean. Let's be there when they touch the boat, ready to hear all about it.
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